A Long Short Week
It feels like the work load is getting lighter.... it just FEELS that way, but it's definitely not. In fact, added to the load of planning (short & long term), is a professional growth plan that I need to run by my principal.. plus an upcoming evaluation at the end of Sept. = STRESSTo be honest, all of the stress from the first month has sort of become faded. I'm just plain TIRED now. I haven't gone into the downward spiral (studies show that 1st year teachers just go downhill after September and things don't look brighter for them until about February) yet.. I'm hoping I am not the typical teacher who had a very "cloud 9" impression of teaching. When I thought of my first teaching job, my thoughts were not fluffy and pretty, but I don't think they were anywhere near what I'm dealing with now. To be more optimistic, I'm seeing some small improvements in the behaviours of the kids.. so it's getting a little bit better.
My biggest concern is not being able to create a positive learning environment. Since I'm constantly watching over a couple of my kids, I feel like I'm not really providing a very positive environment. Calling them out on their actions is questionable - if you do it, it makes them accountable for their actions and lets the rest of the class know that it's not alright; if you don't call them out, does it mean that you are letting the class believe that they can get away with anything? Or are you making another student feel unsafe because they think you may call them out and embarrass them someday? It's a conflict of philosophies and ideas.. so, so, SO many of them!!!
Another small dilemma I have is the whole idea of "rewards system". I don't believe that students should be rewarded for good behaviour. I think it should be expected of them. I don't know how many teachers have suggested using a rewards system with my behaviour kids.. so far, I'm still holding out on trying different things and I really hope I don't cave. It's just really hard to say to someone, "Well, I don't believe in rewarding students for good behaviour." when they have just told you about how they do that in their class.....
Alright. That's it for now. I'm really tired. It's bed time.
posted by jaryee @ 4:50 p.m.
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